My two little kids are amazing, irritating, exasperating, exciting, nerve wracking, loved. The list of adjectives is never ending. I love being their mommy, but I also love their bedtime. More accurately I love it when we’ve made it through bedtime and they are asleep. Bedtime in theory is like the finish line at the end of a race. You can see it.You know when you cross that line the hard part is done. You can now relax. Bed time at my house is like a finish line at the end of a race that goes directly through a war zone. Objects go flying, kids fall to the ground in hysterics, and the theatrics that go into crying and screaming are worthy of a Grammy. A lot of this fight is centered around the fact that my kids don’t want to be in the dark by themselves. They don’t feel in control of their surroundings and are often afraid. This is when my son negotiates for a crack in his door for just a little light. That little light doesn’t change the fact that he has to stay in his room and go to bed. It does change how he feels about the situation. The light makes his situation bearable.
“There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.”
I heard a variation of these lyrics by Leonard Cohen years ago and I have never forgotten it. It is a very natural reaction for us as human beings to be negative. We see all of our imperfections and compare them to the strong points of people around us. It’s almost as if we feel a drive to continually give ourselves reinforcements as to why we aren’t good enough. In reality, our perceived cracks are what shape us into the best version of ourselves.
The following is a quote by CS Lewis that is originally about temptation. I’ve modified it with green.
“No man knows how STRONG he is till he has BEEN FACE TO FACE WITH HIS WEAK POINTS. A silly idea is that STRONG people don’t HAVE THE SAME KIND OF WEAKNESSES THAT WE DO. This is an obvious lie. Only those who HAVE HAD TO OVERCOME THEIR WEAKNESSES know how strong THE PULL TO GIVE UP IS. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down.”
Don’t be so frustrated with your cracks. Those things that we wish were different are what give us the drive to keep trying. Those are the things that give us motivation to walk against the wind. Those are the things that let the light in.